Donald Trump With A Model At The Launch Of “Trump Handguns”
President-elect Donald Trump held a press conference at Mar-a-Lago Club today to announce the launch of “Trump Handguns”, a new venture that will produce “fashionable and convenient to carry self-defence gadgets” with distinct lines of products for men and women.
Whilst announcing the launch of the brand, Trump proclaimed that:
“Our self-defence gadgets would usher in a new era of security and self-reliance for Americans, especially women and effeminate homosexual men, saving them not only from immediate physical threats but also from the insecurity that causes them to fall prey to the empty promises of deceitful demagogues.”
“With Trump Handguns in your hands, you will no longer be at the mercy of your government to adopt sensible laws and regulations to maintain peace and order or the law enforcement agencies to ensure your security.”
“These magnificent, powerful and state of the art devices will only be available for sale in America, giving you an insurmountable advantage over any armed criminals who attempt to enter our bountiful nation to plunder the riches and women which are only yours to exploit by birthright.”
Trump Handguns, which employs the catchline “Justice in your own hands!” is set to commence the sale of its products on December 10, 2024, just before the Christmas shopping rush sets in. The advance orders for its products have already exceeded the market’s wildest expectations, giving rise to a sales phenomenon hitherto unknown in the firearms industry.
